I find ‘Healing’ in the emotional context especially, to be very tricky. Let me explain…

When we say healing, we are referring to a wound being healed or in the process of it.. We are talking about overcoming hurt and feelings of uncontainable sadness and pain over an event, or rather, the way the event has been interpreted and the meaning that we attach to it. Healing can be a very “feel good” thing by itself- and that is where I’m finding it a bit tricky.

There is something as a “good depression”, something healthy and necessary for our growth. It naturally becomes a part of the healing process- no matter how small or big the event in question is. The tricky thing I’ve been referring to, is when a healing act or assistance misreads this step or phase and tries to get away from this, thus creating a loop or a cyclic pattern bringing about an amount of dysfunction.

In simple words, healing can shade and fade into need for pampering!

So as far as we are aware of things within and taking into account the externals- be it people’s reactions and situations, it will help the healing process, no matter which method we employ, to stay on track and onwards to the goal.

So one danger is to get addicted to the healing process (in lines of feeling pampered). The second one is a conscious act to protect oneself. Let me explain: as a self-protection measure remembering the hurt or hurtful incidents in an “in the face” sort of way, so as to avoid falling in a vulnerable position again. In this case, the individual ends up hurting self each day in process by bringing that hurt again and again in the present moment and never really heal. How? The person is deliberately staying away from healing, leaving the ‘wounds’ open- out of fear, and without realizing, cradles the hurt or the hurtful memories.

So folks, the next time we use the word heal, let us take a look further, deeper.. and find out WITHIN the context at hand, what do we really mean, what are we really doing.. and what is actually happening!


2 thoughts on “Healing

  1. excellent observation … infact there is a surogate injury involved within the healing itself … so maybe that’s why the more sensitive male psyche refuses to acknowledge hurt at all … which ironically would prove more effective based on this observation … unless thts not one of the fall outs u r implying …

    1. Hmm.. Very interesting.. In light of this observation, not acknowledging hurt as hurt would be a step backward not forward through healing. What is implied here is there is a “good depression” that one must be aware of. Having said this, not engaging in the healing process may be mixed here with quick processing (because of earlier experience of wading out of struggles in life, for example). Different people perceive, interpret and most importantly, value things differently. So if a person has on the onset realised it as not hurt, but something else- for eg: irrelevant or “part and parcel of life” (which again is a derivative of ‘good depression’), then this will according to the line of thought above, and as you may have seen, not amount to dysfunction. The point is to not ignore, to not absorb some event as one thing and interpret as that which MATCHES the end goal of good health. Because even when the perceptions may be adjusted to what we seek, experientially the gap exists, between healing- unconsciously importantly, than mere consciously. Because the body equivalent of emotion and event or trauma absorbed is not necessarily known to us consciously. So we may feel that the discomforts and problems at hand are too vague and that consciously we may not be able to see the link and find the unresolved event or hurt as connected or related to it.. but doesnt mean we have moved on. In fact it means the opposite. In simple words, the question to be asked to a sensitive intellectual is, are there long standing problems on table? And do going into the events in question (which would be perceived generally as related but is not found hurtful by self) produce irritability or a need to look away. If no, you have your healthy state. If yes, you have your healthy state of realising that some amount of healing is remaining.

      Keep your questions coming.. the question you asked got me to do a lot of ‘searching’ and this is what I found. Though I must say, a little more info under ‘sensitive male psyche’ will help me explore your point further.


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