Anger: a second look at it









Anger seems powerful: Yelling, talking loudly to a point of screeching.. all sounds aggressive, yes. But if you can look deeper, then look for the Why -in other words- When does a person reach to a point wherein he/she believes that getting loud for them is necessary or required. In other words, forego logic and judgment, and just make an attempt to see.

Here’s a general and for some, an obvious answer – when one is unheard and wants to be heard desperately- that is when a person speaks louder, even screams! The key here is desperation and a fearful belief that one wont be heard genuinely. Thus I say, anger is a desperate act to avoid the feeling of helplessness.

Angry Young Son

What I often find common amongst people wanting to work on their anger, is the felt inability (vs what is projected outward to others) to say “No” with ease, without guilt, without any kind of discomfort. This felt anxiety and discomfort, if further analyzed, is more than often a felt (vs intellectual/logical) moral conflict: when a certain view and action feels right and logically sounds correct, but from somewhere within 100% permission to stick with that point of view is not experienced.

So dear reader, if you find yourself angrier than usual, more irritable, or simply want to understand your angry responses and reactions, look at the underlying inner moral conflict- the rights and wrongs for you that is- centering around the feelings that arise from the triggering incident in question.

Best wishes!