Readdressing Love & its Issues

Flowing Insights Programme

designed & facilitated by

Psychotherapist

Ms. Kunjal Shah

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“The unexamined life is not worth living.”

-Socrates

“Whether its understanding our relationships better.. or we are going through a tough time in life due to specific problems or reasons, or if we are simply looking to “up” the game of life to the next phase or level- these sessions will certainly pave the way.

 

Flowing Insights sessions are designed for you in such a way, that you will be better able to reach the answers you seek. The topics are large and general enough to cover a huge range of issues. Your practice of the process you experience here, and the professional assistance I lend, will provide you with a road to resolve your specific problem from its root. You may check back your trial experiences of insights gained and fine tune the approach back in your life through later sessions. That’s the beauty of these sessions- it will not end in a single talk- It will end after you apply the insights learnt and come back with feedback and questions for more clarity and fuel for your journey in the next session.

 

The springboard for these sessions is You and Dr. Peck’s book: The Road Less Travelled. If you’ve read the book, going to read the book, or not read the book, it matters less. Your presence, some motivation and a little bit of openness is what’s required.

 

Our topic to begin with, is Readdressing Love & its Issues.”

 

Yours sincerely,

Kunjal Shah,

Your Psychotherapist & Counselling Psychologist during “Flowing Insights’ Programme”.

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THIS PROGRAM HAS BEEN DISCONTINUED. FOR QUERIES REGARDING THIS PROGRAM, YOU MAY DO SO BY USING THE FORM IN THE “CONTACT ME” SECTION.  THANK YOU.

Venue: HELP Library, VT, Mumbai.

Date:   1st session = 2nd July 2011

Time:   1 – 2:30 p.m.

Fee:     350 Rs. Per session. (Number of sessions to attend is upto you and your comfort.)

Group:  Small, Cozy & Warm 🙂

fyi:The Programme is divided across three main topics to be covered in a span of minimum 7 sessions:

a)                  Stagnation and monotony Vs Love, healing and growth.

b)                  Pains, problems, manipulations Vs Freedom, health and enrichment of relationships.

c)                  Understanding our resistances, Checking our “tools” & Onto our own roads to be travelled.

 

THIS PROGRAM HAS BEEN DISCONTINUED. FOR QUERIES REGARDING THIS PROGRAM, YOU MAY DO SO BY USING THE FORM IN THE “CONTACT ME” SECTION.  THANK YOU.

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Unlocking The Self; Some Quotes

 

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

-Carl Jung

 

“When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving one’s self, and one always ends by deceiving others. That is what world calls a romance.”

-Oscar Wilde

 

“I would say that our patients never really despair because of any suffering in itself! Instead, their despair stems in each instance from a doubt as to whether suffering is meaningful. Man is ready and willing to shoulder any suffering as soon and as long as he can see a meaning in it.”

-Viktor Frankl, 1961, Logotherapy and the Challenge of Suffering

 

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”

-Socrates

 

“A man’s errors are his portals of discovery.”

-James Joyce

 

“Information is not knowledge.”

-Albert Einstein

 

“Knowledge is knowing that we cannot know.”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn.. My God, do you learn!

– C. S. Lewis

 

One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.

– Carl Jung

 

 

Self-help books & Real help

Sometimes in life, there comes a time, when a need is felt to evaluate the way we are living. There are times, wherein our lifestyle needs change or re-designing to suit our needs. This is also about the time, a self-help book section in a bookshop holds our interest.. and a good chance we end up picking a book in the end.

Beyond reading, after some trial and error of applying the new lessons learnt and old remembered, most books are kept away and forgotten.. and life sometimes doesn’t make a transformation as hoped for and as the book jacket most definitely promised, except an adjustment in maybe a few steps here and there.

So how can we make the most of a self-help book?

It is a book at the end of the day. And the marketing gimmicks and tricks in not only selling but in the written content as well- galore. Find a person, or better, people! A book reading group- a different one each time, or a consistently meeting group- these are good ideas. It can be discussed then with facilitators present, on what basis to choose which book for which issue or motivation that’s currently active in your life. It’s like this- the worst time to go for grocery or food shopping is when you’re hungry; the intense hunger-need clouds any logic! Similarly, being patient and discussing things over- what’s going on within, gaining more clarity of a situation and then heading over a self-help book counter with some recommendations sounds like a better idea. But it shouldn’t stop there- not as far as interpreting words in their full meaning within a context and then application of that data is concerned. Discussions, with people, with the human, compassionate and empathic touch, focusing on daily application of the insights gained- either by rejecting, expounding or accepting the views presented in the book- that helps in moving beyond words and for a book to live and enrich lives than lying like a thing on a shelf somewhere..

A book is a medium. Not the process! The process of any learning would require a good discussion- before purchase, during reading, and after..

Best wishes 🙂

 

 

 

Q & A : “Psychotherapy”

An Introductory talk on Psychotherapy was held at the HELP library’s Patient Doctor Community’s Meeting in the month of May. Quite a few questions were raised and discussed, some of them are shared below:

Q.1    How come meditation itself doesn’t cure things?

A.     There are many kinds of meditation. If by meditation, relaxation and calm state of mind is referred, then within that state one may feel.. well- calm! If problems are requiring to be looked and dealt with, and instead, we tend to ‘escape’ under a false calmness, it may obviously not ‘cure’ anything. It’s important to differentiate between false calmness, and being at peace with oneself. (For more on this- https://psychdom.wordpress.com/2011/05/17/relaxation-a-solution/)

Q.2  When does one reach a stage to REQUIRE it?

A.   ..when regular support systems- family, friends, physicians, etc. have been tried but there continues to be dissatisfaction, problems have remained unsolved, unresolved, or they keep appearing, disappearing, only to reappear again. So yes, once the methods that we typically are using, are not satisfying us- that’s when generally people consider Psychotherapy & Counseling. Having said this, one can go to a psychotherapist at any point. The therapy is to facilitate our journeys too, not just problem-solving.

Q.3  Does Psychological counseling or psychotherapy “draw from within”?

A.    Insight-oriented counseling means drawing from within! There are different kinds of counseling. Long-term insight oriented therapy, Rogerian counseling, etc focus on drawing out insights from within..

Q.4   How long does it usually take? Are there a fixed no of sessions for therapy?

A.     There is no fixed number. It entirely depends on the nature of concern, with which one goes to a Counselor, and the kind of counseling or psychotherapy one opts for. What I do, is depending on the client’s awareness regarding counseling, ask them to see how they feel during the process after completing 3 sessions- This is after they’ve decided to enter counseling, after they’ve found it comfortable with me. Additionally, I tell them if they require to recheck, to check for shifts if not changes, after 10 sessions. Psychotherapy and counseling process may be from 4 sessions for someone, to sessions spanning over years- it depends on the client’s goals and working style.

Q.5   How does one, seeking psychotherapy, come to know or decide what form of therapy to choose??

A.     Considering that its going to be a little uncomfortable at times, as it is the Unconscious aspect of mind being dealt, choosing one where one finds self comfortable, helps. There are several types- art, “talk” or “couch”, play, drama, etc. Some therapists are specifically trained only in one while others employ many kinds. So if you want versatility, seek one who picks several forms and mediums. If only one form is found comfortable enough to focus on the unpleasantness that may need a way out, then a more specific therapy can be opted for.

Q.6   If the environment is affecting a child negatively, will bettering the environment be enough or will the child still need therapy?

A.     Will it help? Absolutely. Will it be enough? That depends on how the child is feeling and what he/she has understood out of the change. Overnight things cannot be changed. Permanent change takes a while- and digesting, adapting to the change- be it good/bad does take time as well. Counseling will definitely help you, your child and your family to communicate effectively. By being open and not acting out of fear, one can look how well-adjusted the child is or isn’t objectively, and can take a call accordingly (One e.g. of finding out if our actions are based on fear is if we catch ourselves doing this: to quickly make things better and communicate “quickly” everything to the child).

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Relaxation- A Solution?

Recently, in a group talk on ‘Psychotherapy’, a small, albeit aware audience emerged to form the ongoing awareness and rapport building community of doctors & patients. An interesting question emerged in the process (The following is worded keeping the essence of the question in mind):

“When we meditate or do deep relaxation processes, we feel free from the problems at hand. But they come back to bother, they do not seem to be permanently gone. Can they or are they enough to solve things or psychotherapy is required?”

The discussion that ensued came to a simple conclusion which is given below. The inquirer’s sheepish smile at the end of it  corroborated an already experienced and known answer, but one that he kept avoiding and inadvertently having pushed it out of awareness..

The conclusion:

‘When we meditate, we reach a stage where problems are found more “deal-able” , as we are more relaxed. The ‘Oh My God!’ response in our head, is subsided and we are more resourceful in dealing with what is on the plate- which is where we may choose a path for assistance; psychotherapy being one of it. But when we are only relaxing our mind and body, and using it to escape- then how can it lead to any problem resolution?! The problem needs our attention not avoidance. Relaxation can help us in doing that. So it can be a “Maintenance tool” for our daily smooth functioning- TO aide in our resolving the “Root Problem”.’

He was satisfied with this answer, though not thrilled and confessed later in person that yes, this summed up what he was avoiding- Pain/”emotional hassles”.

It is the Avoidance of things at hand that actually go on to becoming hassles- That’s something we forget while being caught up in a situation. Our wise hindsight into the consequences can make this understanding clear.

Selfish vs Selfless ?

“Should one be selfish and their ‘good’ lies in it? But what if they hurt other people who are close? What should the priorities be? And what about the social and spiritual sense of things – – shouldn’t one be selfless and loving, giving?”

In an intuitive sense, most people seem to know what to do without having a moral dilemma- at least such a dilemma is not an everyday phenomenon for many. So this is for those tough moments, the ones before decision making and the hindsight ones we catch ourselves in at times:

(A quote by Rev Chariji referring to his Guru (Master), Revered Babuji Maharaj)

“My Master used to say that there are two duties every human being has – One has to, himself or herself, achieve self-development to the highest possible level, and the other is service to the society as His devotee. Obviously the second one can result in perfection only as the first one moves towards perfection.”

I hope this helps. Deep inside we may know, what is healthy and development oriented in any form, field in our life If not, learning how to tune in to see the difference between thought, impulse and the voice of heart helps weed out the inner conflicts and stress sources, to reach an integrated oneness.